Communicating with teachers, parents and administrators

Roy Jones, the great Creative Problem Solving guru, once said that it is almost a miracle that an idea can be transmitted from one mind to another. Certainly everyone is viewing a situation from different points of view, education, goals, etc. As a frustrated parent of gifted children as well as a GATE and honors teacher for many years, my thoughts and feelings are passionately on both sides of the issues, so perhaps I can help translate some and give some tips on how to talk.

As a teacher, we all know that the biggest problem with teaching gifted students is coping with their anxious parents. Nevertheless, that is our obligation, in order to best assist the student in learning. My administrators gave me some wonderful rules and phrases to use to describe what I saw in the class. They work, and parents can use them on teachers to help them assist your child in learning.

1. Sound Objective. Keep negative adjectives out of your discussion. If necessary, write it out.

2. Don’t interpret. Describe behavior, instead. The parent doesn’t want to know the teacher thinks the kid is on drugs when s/he is taking antihistamines, or other mediation. Say, instead, "The student falls asleep in class easily, his eyelids droop, and he has trouble focusing on the discussion or the assignment." The parent can say. “You may have observed my student appears drowsy because he is on medication for (disorder)." Add, "Is there enough fresh air in the class, and can you turn off the fluorescent lights?”

3. One would think that the school would track students with medical and physical difficulties, but with the elimination of full time school nurses, the information may be transmitted randomly. Tell all teachers every semester if your student has hearing problems, describe the preferred seating, vision problems—where does s/he need to sit to see the blackboard, speech problems, and other situations so that the administration and teachers can arrange for accommodations, preferential seating, testing and special education referrals if necessary. Yes, gifted students can have learning problems, and they are the most frustrated of all, as their output doesn't match what they think.

4. Teachers with specialized training don’t want to be told what to do. That is like telling your Orthodontist or Doctor what treatment should be used. It gets their hackles up, they feel insulted and sometimes, of course, the doctor, dentist or teacher is right. Gently approach them under their defensive behavior. Say, “If you notice my student (inset your child’s behavior when he is bored to death and totally frustrated i.e. inattentive, day dreaming, acting out and joking, etc), in previous years the following has worked." Suggest books, projects, activities he enjoys that are at an appropriate mental age. Profoundly gifted students who are “stuck” in a class can be offered the following arrangement by the teacher: “You sit at the back, read and do the more interesting assignments I give you, and as long as you maintain straight As in this class, I will ignore you. If I want to include you in a class discussion or presentation, I will quietly tell you at the start of the period.” If the librarian is willing, some students benefit from being sent to the library after checking into class, but this assumes the library is quiet and they really want to do the research involved on a topic that is hot to them.

5. What do you do when your gifted, or gifted and talented student doesn’t quite qualify for a program you have set your heart on?  Or gets a B+, C, D, or F?

Administrators and teachers are constrained by the laws that control the monies that fund the programs. We all know the tests have margins of error, kids feel badly, etc., etc., but they are paid to follow the regulations or they lose the funding for all students. If you have a sympathetic test giver, they may give your child an alternative test or test on another day. You can always pay a private psychologist to test your student.

What about teachers who are sticklers?

6. Refer teachers of your creative student to an appropriate resource.

7. Suggest using a variety of learning styles.

8. You want to instill in your student the hopeful idea that school is a place where people cooperate to learn—don’t tell them that you hate schools—you guarantee they will resist everything, including good stuff. Tell your pediatrician, best friend, or take stress reduction classes.